No Cheeks for You

I think I’m ready to share this one…

I had a second date with Cheeks a few days ago. I think it went nowhere, but I have thoughts.

I invited her over to my place for dinner, and she swiftly declined the offer. I hadn’t put much thought into if she said, “No.” There was a really nice place I wanted to try, and for some silly reason thought it was a good idea to suggest that spot. I secretly had also been fantasizing about us having a good time like this after a great first date. Boo. In hindsight it should’ve been another round of drinks, or something a lot simpler.

I am used to having nice solo dining experiences. I have also met women this way so I didn’t think it was a big deal. However, I forgot the context. If I meet a woman out and she’s already having a nice dining experience and we connect on that wave, it’s not a big deal to either of us. It’s just what we do. She’s also more likely to reciprocate if we continue to see each other. Now that I’m trying the apps again, I briefly forgot some of these chicks use the apps for free fancy dinners. It’s also quite possible she just wasn’t feeling me. It’s not a good idea to take app girls on dinner dates early in the game. Period.

Cheeks arrived late. When she arrived, I stood up, hugged her, and with a smile on face whispered in her ear, in my deepest voice, “You’re late.” Brushed that out of the way, and the night continued. I don’t know why, but I think I was holding back that night. The conversation was very surface level. I don’t know if I thought because of her age (mid-twenties) it was best to keep it playful and surface level, but we never touched on anything deep, which left the conversation a bit flat in my opinion. She also clammed up when I made some sexual comments. Other than that, I loved watching her enjoy the food and wine. She looked like a kid in a candy shop, grinning from ear to ear with each sip.

After dinner, she thanked me and immediately locked arms with me as we walked. When we reached the platform, she gave me those “come hither” eyes, and we locked lips. We swayed and tried to inconspicuously explore each other’s bodies. She felt so good, and I told her so. When we got to her stop, she gave me a kiss, and I asked her, “Would you like me to walk you home?” “No, I’m just going to vibe and listen to some music. I’ll see you when I see you.” I don’t know if she was trying to play it cool or if that meant she’s not that interested. I took it as more of the latter. She sent me the pictures from our meal the next morning. And that’s it.

I think this is the point where I’m supposed to chase her, but you know something? I don’t feel like it. lol I know what you’re thinking… I’m giving up a lay. Maybe so. Maybe I’m expecting too much, but I’m looking for “Hey, I had a great time. Thanks for last night.” I enjoyed my time with her, and am open to seeing her again, but I like to see some level of effort from the other person so I don’t end up repeating past mistakes. I’m coming from a place of giving too much, too soon. To then being stingy as hell. I can also be a perfectionist when it comes to certain things, and now that I know I probably messed up, I just prefer to start from 0 again. Perhaps I am swinging the pendulum in the completely opposite direction; I will balance out after some time.

The door is open, but I’m moving on to other dates, and making a note not to make the same mistake. I have one more tentative dinner date¹, since I scheduled them both at the same time and I’m done. There’s what works and what I enjoy. A bit of conflict here, but for the sake of winning - No more dinner dates for app girls after this². It was easy to say this last year, because I wasn’t getting any dates.

Ramble

I know most people are going to say dinner is provider frame, but I enjoy food a lot more than drinks/bars. Also, if I’m going to spend $50-100 on drinks, I might as well have eaten some food. It doesn’t have to be to level I did the other night, but food wins for me, especially in this time of my life where I’m not keen to drink more than 2 glasses of wine. 3 on a really good night.

Also, for me food and sex go hand in hand. There is a seductive aspect to food. The smells, the textures, the colors, the temperature, the flavor… it all spells S-E-X. Especially in the right company. Food and sex pair well together. Perhaps a ramble for another post if I’m further inspired.

1. same mistake twice in the same span of time before I gave it more thought. smh I could change it, but it’s low stakes. I’m curious to see what happens as another lesson.

2. Will reassess after smashing.