What's in a Lover
A few hours after I finished this post, La Amazona called me and told me she wants to speak in person. She said she overreacted, and wanted to see if we could come to an understanding before she went a way for a few weeks. She wanted to be my lover.
Mind you, this is my first or maybe second time having this conversation. My intention for the conversation was to give her some type of framework or structure, but also something that's not too rigid for her or myself. I also tried to keep the focus on us to create the feeling that we are building something together. I prefaced the conversation with why I want this "relationship configuration", and then a few topics I touched on were what being my lover meant to me and behavior I won't accept.
Why I want a "lover" and not full blown relationship
I told La Amazona, "Look, we're both doing big things and I think it's important that our main focus be our goals. I don't want to distract you, but rather, I'd like to be an addition." She agreed, and told me I was right, she just wants to have some consistent good dick. "It can be lonely the City", she said. She also told me that a lot of her hesitance was because she thought I was fucking a different girl every night. She said it's easy for guys in the City. I told her it's easy for a small percentage of guys in the City. It just seems that way to her, because she's probably among some of the most attractive and most successful in her industry. She and her girlfriends are only focusing on these guys. Most other guys are probably invisible to them. Back to the story, I told her I'm not that active, and I'm looking for consistent lovers.
We also both recognize that we'd probably eat each other alive if we spent too much time together. Our personalities are polar opposites. Let's not spoil a good thing by spending toooo much time together.
I want to keep my freedom and my peace & quiet.
What's in a Lover?
For me, a lover is someone that I'm sexually attracted to and I like, but we don't have a committed relationship with. We might do activities together. For me personally, time in public can be great foreplay. We share fun experiences with each other - sexual and non-sexual. She doesn't belong to me and I don't belong to her, but when we're together we take care of each other and help each other achieve our best selves. We help each other win at life without tying each other down... unless one of us once to be tied ;)
She asked me if I cared if she slept with other men. I told her I'd be lying if I said no, but ultimately it's not up to me. I shared my failed experience. I told her if you have a connection you want to explore, then do that. But don't feel like you have to do anything if you don't want to, just because I am. I think we've decided on a more "Don't ask, don't tell" model. It's easier that way. Then La Amazona tried to ask me about Turkish Delight. I told her she's her complete opposite, and switched the subject after that. La Amazona has also expressed interest in dating women, so I told her to invite me if she does. haha
Red lights
I tried to keep this part light, but also let her know I'm not playing and I will stop this experience if these things happen.
The two big things for me are this:
I want my peace. So if she starts acting crazy or behaving poorly, I'm out.
I want to keep it somewhat low-key. If we're seen out and about - cool, but no posting on social media.
I'm not the smoothest talker when I'm trying to create all of this on the fly, but the main thing I wanted to get across is my sincerity to let her know that I do care, that this going to be a fun and sexy experience.
I think we will also keep our rendezvous to once a week, twice max if our schedules can even align. That gives me time to have space for myself and see other women if I choose to.
I think she's into it so far. So let's see how this goes.
Sex with her is good every time. We fucked after that conversation, then we woke up, went to the gym and I lead her through a modified version of my routine, followed by another steamy session before she went on her way.
What's in a lover to you?