This One Time, At a Sex Club...

I went to a sex club. Never in a million years did I think I'd make it to one. I honestly didn't know this world existed or that it was accessible to me until I found this.

Here comes a ramble.

A few weeks ago, I got an invite from a friend I had recently met out and about in the streets. Not my type, but I think she's cool. I'll reiterate, she's cool, but I'm not attracted to her. On the contrary, she is attracted to me. To be honest, I was a little nervous to go with her because I knew she was into me. I made it clear that we are going as friends. I'll have her back if she needs anything, and she'll have mine; if all goes south for anyone, we leave. That was the agreement. I could've waited until I got a girlfriend, or a girl that's really into me (that I'm also into), but I don't know... I don't see that happening for me anytime soon. I wanted the experience.

So we rock up to the club. It's a sexy, swanky space. This is my style. Music is bumping, everyone's dressed up, and we're both excited. I change into my outfit, and I run into a familiar face. I see Milf Mami. I haven't seen her in a while, but we exchange pleasantries and flirty glances. Milf Mami is cute, but she wants something a lot more casual than I do. And she's older than I'd like. (I'm also too grown to continue my pattern of dating "older" women.) But I think in this case, she's a good person to know so I keep the bridge open, even if there's no communication at the moment. Then, as I'm checking my bag a husky girl comes up behind me and starts chatting me and my friend up. She has her target locked on me.

I can tell I'm nervous from all the excitement because when I keep the prop in my left hand still, I can feel my fingers trembling. The other sign I'm nervous is that I clam up. Silent. I'm generally a quiet person, but if I'm in the mood I'll chat. Before you get to the fun, you have to do a lot of talking at sex clubs (especially if you don't have a date). This indeed, is going to be an impediment for me if I can't get over it. After a while I decide I need some alcohol, so I break away from my friend and I circle. As I make my way around, I'm making small talk with people. Since every one was in costume, I'd just open with something simple like, "I like your costume!" or "Who are you supposed to be, [inset costume guess]? By this time people were full on fucking in the designated areas. I felt like a kid in a candy shop. "Is this real?" I thought to myself.

After two drinks, I'm still switching between walking around, chatting people up, watching all the hot steamy sex happen in front of me, performances, and some of the impact play demonstrations happening. If you want to go to a sex club and just watch, there is more than enough to keep your attention. But I guess that also depends on the night and the venue. Up to this point, there was no action for me. I made a few attempts that went no where. One girl said she just wanted to watch this time before I even hinted that I wanted to do anything with her. I stood around with another girl trying to make conversation, but no dice. Two beautiful Asian chicks. And to be honest those two were the only chicks that I really wanted to talk to. They both kind of had really tough exteriors though. And I'm not one to press. Probably lazy of me, but girls have typically made it easy for me when they are into me. So when they don't, on to the next. I'm not really trying to figure out what their deal is (Another impediment)

As I'm watching some performances, a girl comes up to me. She tells me she's been looking for me. Lucky me because I think she's cute. We exchange pleasantries for a few minutes, and then she gets right to it. She tells me something along the lines of, "Do you want to go somewhere a little quieter so we can continue talking? I also want to play with you." You don't have to ask me twice. :D So we head down to the main play area and find a spot. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I was stumped when she asked me what I like. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure that out, but it's hard to do when I don't have someone I'm consistently sexing. I also forget what sex feels like if it's been a while. Maybe I'll write some things down the next time I'm seeing someone consistently. She thinks a guy like me must get allll the girls in NYC. When girls say shit like this, I just smile and stay silent. I know it's not time to whine, but I must at least pretend like what she imagines is true. We kiss for a bit, and after I'd been fingering her for a while she tells me to take my shorts off. As soon as I do, I flat line. I tell her I'm going to the bathroom, and when I return, naked in a room full of strangers, she was nowhere to be found. Another couple had taken our spot. Immediately, I feel myself sinking as I grab my garbs from the shared mattress, but I catch myself and level out. I level out, but the wall comes back up. I was not what she was looking for, or I couldn't deliver what she was looking for. It's ok, dude. Fire & maneuver, baby. Fire & maneuver.

I think she was looking for her dominant black stallion. The black stallion part is becoming more true every day, but I'm not feeling all that dominant these days. Also, I think and feel I'm lacking experience to demonstrate that dominance. I always did like more of a tussle. To me, that tussle, that dance, creates more tension than me just simply overpowering her, or vice versa.

After I freshen back up and reassemble my outfit I go find my friend and she has company. Another chick. Attractive face, but I don't know what is going on with her body. They praise me, because they think I'm so "smooth." I tell them I'm going to circle again. By this time the alcohol is kicking in a bit more, however my vibe is fading. Couldn't hook anything, and then I ran into my friend and her new friend in the main play area. They told me they wanted to find a spot. One went away, and the other lead me to a bed. I knew where this was going, but I was not down. First, they both started kissing in front of me. Then the new friend leaned over to me and asked if she could kiss me. We kissed. Then they kissed some more. Then my friend asked if she could kiss me. I couldn't do it. I watched them kiss for a little bit, then I told them to "Enjoy!" and I left. As I watched them kiss, it felt like the hot couples were watching me about to get it on with these not so cute girls. Maybe no one was watching, but in the end it felt like a decision I'd regret soon after. In my late 20s, I was at a festival and was willingly ambushed seduced into a threesome with two older ladies. I didn't want to repeat this. This is not the game I want to play. This is not why I practice, or even try to, at least.

I wandered around a while longer. In between that my friend and her new friend left, and two other girls asked for and received a kiss. One of these being the husky chick that had me on her radar all night. (I was kinda dodging her, but was open for a kiss.) The other, a tall chick that I could tell used to be hot in her better years. Kissing felt like a handshake that night. If I had a mutually willing party, I would have been fine with shaking hands all night. The girls I wanted though were either coupled up (I couldn't reciprocate value for value as a single guy ) or weren't interested (At least that's what their body language said). I decided to call it a night before I did something I would regret.

All in all, it was fun. Don't go by yourself. I noticed there were single people (men and women) that didn't know how to make things happen. Some of them might've gotten lucky, but by the look on some people's faces they were waiting for someone to change their luck the whole night. I would go again, but it would have to be with someone I'm already really into. This was another good experience that has opened my eyes to even more possibilities, but I've confirmed that right now I want connection and intimacy. A girlfriend, or anything of the like, feels a long way a way, but I want to feel some closeness without feeling smothered.

All of my leads from September have dried up. It's very possible that some will spark up again, but I'm good where I am right now.